Broken.

While sitting at the doctor's office I overheard a conversation.

Little girl: Mommy, whats wrong with that baby?
Mother: Oh sweetie, she's broken.

My heart crumbled. When children think of broken things they think of junk, trash. Broken toys are no fun to play with. I know the mother meant well and was trying to keep her daughter from asking too many questions but it shouldn't be that way. How are kids supposed to learn anything if we shut them down with short, inadequate answers? My child is not broken, she is different. She is not damaged, she is specially made. She is not trash, she is a gift from God. Different should be accepted, not deterred. I am always willing to answer any questions. I know children are curious and that's OK as long as you are honest.
On another note...
Aralyn was once again admitted to Children's Medical Center. This time it was because she had a fever for 26 days and her pediatrician didn't know what else to do. She had a team of several doctors and not one knew what to do. None of them had ever seen anything like Aralyn's condition and had never heard of Trisomy 8. That's scary. You take your children to doctors because they are educated and experienced in caring for the sick. What do you do when a doctor looks at you and says, "I'm sorry Mrs. Walden, but we just don't know.". Will anyone ever know and if they do eventually find out, will it be too late?
I "what-if" all the time and I'm sure its not healthy but if I settle for "what is" I'll be letting Aralyn. I am her advocate. If I don't search for answers, who will? Her doctors decided that her fever is neurological and her "normal" will be high. When she gets sick, her temperature will be really high. I know where the nearest hospital is and her bag is always ready. I have a folder full of her medical history and information, but in that moment will I be prepared? Will I forget her bag or folder? Will I pass the hospital? What? Will? If? How? Why? Those are the questions that keep my mind racing. Those short, simple words keep me up at night. She is here today and I am learning to live in the moment. God has blessed me and believes in me. That alone is enough to make it through another day.