Down Time...

Life has been so hectic lately. Constantly running from one appointment to another. Today we woke up and have no where to be. I'm pretty uncomfortable knowing that. For the past year of my life I have spent numerous moments in medical offices. Even before Aralyn was born, I had 3 doctors appointments a week. Today we have nothing. No therapy, no doctor, nothing. I feel like I'm going stir crazy. Our normal is to be on the go non-stop. Rhagan is having a hard time being home all day and Aralyn doesn't seem to like it either. If you know me at all, you know that I live by a little purple planner. If it's not written down, I don't do it. If it's written down, I'm there. Today's spot is blank. I have longed for a slow day and now that I have it, I'm anxious. I guess I have adjusted to our new, busy life more than I thought.

New Day, New Diagnosis

Really??? I can't handle it. I try to be strong and keep a smile on my face. I go through the motions of life but everyone has a breaking point. Today Rhagan, Aralyn, myself, and my mom went to Dallas for A's neurology appointment. I know she has seizures and I know her medication hasn't helped as much as it should. I just didn't prepare myself for a new diagnosis. Aralyn has Epilepsy. Rhagan was with us so I didn't, couldn't break down. I put my over-sized sunglasses on, shed a few tears, and went to lunch. What else can I do? I don't even know how to respond any more. I can't say "the word" without crying. When someone dies you go through stages. I have done the same having a terminal child. My current stage is anger. I'm not angry at anyone in particular. I'm definetly not angry at God. I'm just angry. I want to know why my child suffers EVERY DAY while other women beat, kill, starve, and abandon their children. Why Aralyn???? Once a lady told me that Aralyn is God's way of punishing me for all of my wrong doing. Another person told me that she is the child of the devil. I see an innocent child of God who is determined to beat the odds. I learned today that more than 300,000 children under the age of 14 have Epilepsy. That's devestating. Children should never suffer! Its not fair!!! I've been told many times that life is not fair but it doesn't help. I'm simply at a loss.
Aralyn Faith vs Trisomy 8
She will win!!!