It needs to be said, seizures suck!

August 24, 2015 will the first day of a new jouney for Aralyn.  Honestly, I'm tired of the obstacles.  I'm tired of hearing doctor's say she's beating the odds but is still terminal.  I'm tired of having to make decisions that could potentially save or end my child's life.  Maybe I'm just tired.  Either way, we have to push forward because Aralyn has shown us time and time again that she has a lot of fight left in her.

On August 24th, Aralyn will be admitted to Texas Children's Hospital for a seven day EEG and a MRI.  I can handle the EEG portion of the visit, and so can she.  I'm just not too sure about the MRI.  Did you know that I can't tell Aralyn to sit still and her actually do it?  Because she can't, she has to be sedated.  Anethesia is a scary thing for anyone, but when it comes to my precious girl, it could be detimental.  I vividly remember the last time she had to be sedated.  She was laying on the cold, white sheets, completely unaware of my fears, holding her favorite lovie.  She was much younger then and didn't protest things she didn't like.  Now, oh, that girl.  Compliant is never a word to describe Aralyn.  She's a determined, strong-willed, fighting, my-way-or-the-highway kind of kid.  When I tell her to stop doing something, she smiles.  Why?  Because she can.  When I take her feeding tube out of her mouth, she grabs it and bites down harder.  Why?  Because she can.  When I take a baby from her, she throws the rest on the floor.  Why?  Because she can.  That's typical Aralyn style, doing what she wants when she wants because she can.  Oh, Aralyn.  So back to the hospital visit, I'm worried.  However, I think through all the appointment scheduling, crying, and discussions, I have figured out why I'm so worried.  Maybe it's not the hospital stay that I'm most concerned about, but the steps we have to take afterwards.  This stay is to determine which of two surgeries will work best for our Bunny girl.

Surgery.  Everything about the word makes me cringe.  She's been through enough.  I think we can all agree on that.  Unfortunately, her seizures cannot be controlled with medications and just about every other option has been ruled out.  We're left with two options, which if you remember, is what I prayed for.  I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson yet.  Option One is to have a vagus nerve stimulator implanted.  It's basically a titanium disk that will send electrical pulses to the vagus nerve.  What I hear is that we'll be electricuting her for the rest of her life.  The upside, it could actually work.  The downside, we don't know how well it will work or how long it will work.  Option Two is to remove the part of her brain causing the most seizures.  Aralyn's new, amazing, highly qualified Neurologist, Dr. Wilfong, believes that while her seizures come from all over her brain, he can hopefully pinpoint one problem area that causes the most.  Depending on that piece, what it does, and how badly she needs it to survive, we'll decide to leave it or remove it.  

Those are our options, and we have to pick one, or Aralyn's seizures will continue to worsen as they've been doing and we risk losing her.