Searching for strength.

Lord, I come to you, on my knees, asking for strength.

June was a crappy month. July hasn't been any better. On June 28th, my Pawpaw passed away. It has been over two weeks since he knocked on my door with a bag of fruit. It has been over two weeks since I called him to ask about the weather. He always knew. Pawpaw's death was a huge shock. He was healthy, active, and full of life. I'd give anything to butt heads with him one more time, to lecture him about giving Rhagan too much sugar, to hug him, to hear one of his nonchalant comments. It's funny to think about the things we'd bicker about. They all seem so pity now.

Illness. Illness is something Aralyn knows all too well. She's sick, all the time. This time, she was diagnosed with an ear infection and cold. Why do I have a problem with this? The doctor who diagnosed her has never seen her before. He was unaware of any of her history. We were supposed to see her doctor, but the office failed to mention that Aralyn's pediatrician was out of the office when we scheduled the appointment. We'll refer to this new one as Dr. E. I'm still unsure of how Dr. E became a doctor. Harsh, I know. He listened to Aralyn's lungs and said they were clear. Really? Her nurse just listened and they were wheezy and crackling. Interesting. He spent a good ten minutes digging around in her right ear, glanced in the left, then said she had an infection in the left. If that's the case, why spend so much time on the right? Why dig around as if you were searching for treasure? At this point, Aralyn was in some sort of shock. Dr. E dug around in her right ear while Aralyn was motionless. Her nurse and I believe Dr. E went a little too deep in the ear after watching Aralyn's response. She was motionless, soundless, and it felt like a year before she opened her eyes again. I wasn't too concerned until she coughed. Hit the eardrum, Dr. E? Some parents may shrug it off, but I can't seem to do that. Why was he so intrigued by her right ear, then glance in the left? Makes no sense to me. Antibiotics and breathing treatment, which she was already getting, are what we left with. On top of it all, he agreed with the diagnosis of Aralyn being blind. Really? She kept her eye on him the entire time. Well, except for when he was probing her ear. She watched him walk out of the room. She saw you, Dr. E!!

Of course I can't stop here. There's more. My great-granddad, Grandpere, passed away. God has more faith in me than I do. My heart is in a continual state of hurt. At the end of the day, I remind myself of all the blessings in my life. Life is unpredictable. You can plan, and plan, and plan, but God is the one who's in control.

The greatest news I'm overly joyed to share is that Bunny will be two in twelve days!!!!

Thank you, Lord, for all You've blessed me with.

Here is my dad, Rhagan (who just turned six), and Aralyn at an East Texas Pump Jacks game.

Am I blessed or what?!?

Love and blessings!